Good (but not Easy)
Made another big batch of granola this week, and it’s one of the things that gets me up in the morning. At least one decision is already made. This batch has hazelnuts, cashews, figs, cranberries, and cherries. Eaten with yogurt and lots of tropical fruit–kiwi, Korean melon, mango–thank you, universe.
It’s good my day started out this way, because it was a hard one. No suffering with a capital “S,” but it was still hard. Thank you, reader Momosis, for pointing out that we can still have hard days even though our problems are not ones of survival. Loretta woke up at 5:00 and wouldn’t go back to sleep or play on her own. She just stood at the head of my bed and screamed her head off till I finally got up at 6:00. I’m sure I could have handled it more creatively, but my creativity well was totally dry. Why can’t I transfer some of my Korean spa zen to situations like this morning? Why is there such a giant wall between them? Why is re-entry so hard?
At 4:45 this afternoon (not that I was counting minutes until dinner), I was walking back from the park with 4 kids. Wyatt and Oscar were riding bikes and didn’t need anything from me (thank God), but I was pushing a double stroller with two toddlers (Loretta screaming because she wanted to ride her trike) while carrying two trikes and sneezing uncontrollably with seasonal allergies. I don’t know how I did it. But I did, it’s over, and Loretta still wanted to snuggle with me tonight. Isn’t she sick of me?! I guess not, and that’s one of the miracles.
Yesterday, in my kitchen without kids, I listened to a Speaking of Faith podcast with Rachel Naomi Remen who’s written the books Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather’s Blessings. She’s a physician who’s spent her life listening to stories of people with terminal illnesses and the pain of the doctors who treat them. I highly recommend both books (with a box of Kleenex). She herself has lived with a debilitating illness her whole life. So, with great insight and credibility, she says, “It’s possible to live a good life even though it’s not an easy life. That’s the best-kept secret in America.”
I could chew on this for a long time. Somewhere along the line, lots of Americans began to believe that a good life means an easy one. And because so many of our lives aren’t easy, we think something’s wrong with us–we must have made a bad choice along the way. Or God is mad at us. Or if only we could get that dream job or dream car, our lives would finally be easy. It’s the dying and suffering folks “on the edge of life, ” as Dr. Remen says, who teach us otherwise. They teach us that the cracks are what let the light in–our suffering (or impatience, allergies, and extreme sleep deprivation) may not be easy, but goodness exists right alongside, just waiting for us to throw the doors open and see it.
How’s that for a meditation on granola? And a way to avoid an actual recipe? Wherever you are–trudging uphill with trikes, fretting over your checkbook, folding laundry, cooking or sleeping–may you sense and know the goodness waiting in the wings.


Thank you Sarah….
here’s to looking for the what’s illuminated by the light seeping in through the cracks instead of immediately finding my cement + trowel. not usually the first response but one i desire to cultivate more. thanks for the reminder.
:stomps feet:
But I want good and easy.
I’ll let you know if I ever stop stomping.
Perfect timing. Michael and I were just talking about this sort of thing as we cleaned up the kitchen for the millionth time. I was telling him how great it is that he always remains so close to God in the hard times. Doesn’t blame God or think God has left him. Life and faith is all about the suffering and the joys. It’s all life. God is in it all. Being able to see what you’re learning through it all can open up our eyes and bring surprises and miracles. Lessons. Increase faith. Thanks for the post. xo.
Whoooo! We never get past this mysterious hope that we’d deny if we got confronted with it, that it WILL get easy—-and it doesn’t! But there’s surely a lot of great stuff right along with the painful!! Here’s to being able to FOCUS on that wonderful stuff, and celebrate it! Thanks for your premature wisdom, Sarah! You are a blessing to me! Lynn
as the wise leonard cohen also says (in one of my favorite songs of his), “there is a crack in everything…that’s how the light gets in.” maybe he and rachel naomi remen knew each other. thanks for the reminder…and what a great podcast that is. you should listen to the parker palmer interview. very good.
Lovely post. Really enjoyed reading your survival mode. I’m up for granola yogurt with some fruit as well. On a separate note, I LOVE Korean spa, it really makes you zen…
Sarah, I read your post, thought about replying, but then went ahead and a wrote up the post I’ve been stewing on for awhile instead. Thanks for helping me get it done! I hope you don’t mind me posting a link to it here.
http://www.momosis.com/2009/06/27/throwing-mommy-out-with-the-bathwater/
Great thoughts! So encouraging, too. It takes so much patience when on early mornings the little ones decide is time to start the day. Your granola looks delicious. Thanks for the musings. It helps to put things in perspective.
thanks sarah, been gone to the island retreat and missed not having you with us. this was the topic of the the weekend sorta ……be willing to let the LIGHT in, and concluding it does dispell the darkness. good reminder.